EXPERIENCE 13 • 2 MIN

The Apology Factory

Say everything. Accept responsibility for nothing.

DEPARTMENT OF STRATEGIC REGRET

Let’s make this
sound like an apology.

THIS WEEK’S INCIDENT

We accidentally monetized everybody’s Tuesday.

1. Start with feeling

2. Add some responsibility

3. Promise something

OFFICIAL COMPANY STATEMENT

“

Insert sincerity
where legally permissible.

Legal department approval 100%

Actual human sincerity 0%

LEGAL: “Beautiful. We have technically said nothing.”

All absurdities are fictional. All existential crises are complimentary. Keep the park open ↗